Looking back over this site, I see that I have taken to posting in December for the last couple of years; a check in, an “I’m still here” kind of post. Last year, I had all sorts of plans. My PhD would be finished, so I would have oodles of energy. I’d be back blog-posting, I’d be back writing articles, I’d attend conferences.

Life doesn’t often work out to plan. Friends and colleagues had warned me that finishing a PhD would drain the battery. They spoke about illnesses that had floored them after submitting the final draft and corrections. Having chronic fatigue anyway, I thought I’d be able to manage it. I had finished the PhD on schedule, so having weekends and holidays back would give me ample time to recharge. Silly me – I should know better by this point.

Instead, I crashed – mentally and physically. I kept going in work (just!) and was there for my close friends and family as much as possible, but beyond that, nothing. I know now what I had been told, but hadn’t appreciated. When you finish a PhD, there is nothing left – that last push takes it all.

Here I am, five months post-graduation, nine months post-submission, and finally starting to pick up. Granted, it is the winter, which is always easier on me than summer. The cold air and dark nights help to sooth this frazzled soul in a way that the bright heat can never do. I thank all those who supported me through the slump, counting my blessings for the kind hearts that buoyed me up.

As for new year plans, I’m not making any. I am grateful that I am here and I hope all is well with you. It’d be lovely to catch up again before December 2025, so we’ll see what life brings. In the meantime, I wish for peace and healing for all beings.